It’s not easy to stop missing your ex. They were the sun your world revolved around, and now they are gone. This is a huge and sudden life change for you. However, it doesn’t have to be such a bad thing. First, decide if you truly want them back. If so, then put together a plan that will end the break up – more about that in a minute. But if you decide you really should move on, then there are things to help you adjust to the new life.
If you are looking for EXACT steps and complete plan to stop missing your ex now, then feel free to skip this article and start working to get them back.
First, let’s say you decide that you definitely want to reconcile with your ex. It is possible to get them back, even if they are already dating someone else. It doesn’t matter if you were married, just dating or living together. These tactics work under any circumstances.
The first thing you want to do is remove all signs of desperation on your part. A desperate, miserable person is never an attractive to males OR females. You want to look happy and confident because that’s what DOES attract the opposite sex. Now, everyone knows stories about a person who wanted a break up until the other person went out and got a new life, then they suddenly wanted them back, right?
You need to get control of the situation, at least on some level.
That’s what you are going for here. So here are the steps that will get you there.
Take up some new hobbies, go out with friends, go on vacation, do anything to keep yourself occupied. This will keep your mind busy (which will help you) while making you look irresistible to your ex. They will suddenly see you in a new light when you continue your life without them.
They probably expect you to hole up at home and cry over them, but you will really surprise them when you don’t have time to answer their calls and you are not home most of the time. This will make them wonder where you are and what you are doing.
When you decide to return their call, keep it short. Don’t be tempted to stay on the phone with them for hours. Remember, stay just out of reach.
I realize this will probably be difficult for you when you really want to profess your undying love for them instead, but trust me – reverse psychology can work wonders. Thinking you don’t want them will drive them crazy. It’s the “what do you mean you don’t want me” mentality. Everyone wants what they can’t have in life, right? They will suddenly want to pursue you like they did in the beginning of the relationship.
Casually throw into the conversation that you have been thinking and have realized this break up was a good thing afterall. (Don’t freak out about this step because you are already broke up anyway so you have nothing left to lose.) If you are not speaking, then write a note to them. The key word here is “note” not a five page letter. And do not write about anything else besides this. You might write this for example:
I just wanted to let you know that I have been really thinking about our relationship and I truly believe this break up is the best thing for both of us. There are so many things I need and want to do, and now I am free to pursue those things. I wish you nothing but happiness and hope you get everything you want in life.
Sounds final, doesn’t it? Also sounds like you will never lose a minute of sleep over that other person. Now you are just out of reach and a challenge for your ex.
This goes for guys and girls. Don’t allow them to get that close to you until they have invested in you again. This will just lead to more heartache if you do because they will probably not get back with you and you will be reattached to them all over again. So hold out on the intimacy until they are reattached to YOU.
You have both changed during the break up, so this is essentially a new relationship you are building. With that in mind, you need to date and take it slow when it is time to make a move in the direction of getting back together. Don’t make the mistake of thinking everything is back to normal immediately and falling into all the old patterns of behavior. Don’t suddenly become clingy or tell them all the moves you made to get them back. Mistake!
So what if you decided that you didn’t want you ex back after all? Maybe you just decided that you wanted to stop missing your ex, but didn’t actually want them back. In that case, my advice is the same.
This will jump start your new life again. There’s nothing as exciting as setting out on a new phase of your life.
At this point you will have worked through the issues you had with this relationship and you will be in a better place.
There you have it. These opening steps will get you started. However, if you truly want to stop missing your ex and get them back, I recommend a plan called The Magic of Making Up. It contains exact steps to make them want you back. This program, which has helped thousands, uses what we know about human nature to make your partner miss you and feel like they need you again. They will remember why they fell in love with you in the beginning.
Don’t let your love get away – give them reasons to want to stay with you.
For a more specific plan, please see
by Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb
also by Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb.
by Angela Christian Pope aka Angela Monahan @ ModernRelationship.org