Science has proved that long-term attachments to other human beings are critical to our mental, physical, and emotional well being. These bonds start early in life as infants and continue until we draw our last breath. Everyone knows these bonds are critical and sociopaths are often the result when they are absent.
Assuming you are NOT a sociopath, do you know what your bonding style says about you?
The three main categories are:
The anxious person is the one we usually view as clingy. They may call their mate too many times and often can’t do anything independently without them. They tend to smother their significant other with an overabundance of “love” and attention. They are often labeled as “codependent”, which is viewed as a bad thing. However, they are simply trying a fill a void and get balance in their life. Something is missing in their emotional well-being and sense of security. They are trying to feel “normal” and feel make the attachments we all biologically crave as humans.
The avoidant person is the exact opposite. They do not want anyone to get too close and interfere with their sense of independence. They actually want to be in the relationship, but they just don’t want to be too intimate. Space is very important to them.
As you probably guessed, being a secure person means you are striking a good balance in your relationship. These people are securely attached to their partners and usually don’t sweat the small stuff. Their sense of security keeps them from overreacting in most situations. It is just healthier.
For more information on this topic, please visit Mind Reading: How the New Science of Adult Attachment Can Improve Your Love Life on Time.com.
If your relationship is in trouble and you want a step by step plan to save it, please visit The Magic of Making Up.
by Angela Christian Pope aka Angela Monahan @ ModernRelationship.org